A few weeks ago the Internet gathered its pitchforks and torches and formed an angry mob around the spooky manor outside of town. Two star crossed lovers, Square Enix and Microsoft, had been found in the middle of…forming an union of sorts and this did not please the simple people and so they made their feelings known. I am willing to be lone outlier and am here to say we should be happy for these two because many good things could come of them getting together.

Well if you haven’t heard, The sequel to 2013’s critically acclaimed, multi-million unit-selling Tomb Raider, entitled “Rise of the Tomb Raider”, was announced as an Xbox exclusive during the Microsoft conference at GamesCon. Or….was it an XboxOne exclusive? In a flurry of mixed messages, double talk and slow responses to angry consumers the Crystal Dynamics team posted a clarification in the formed of numbered list.


Timed Exclusive to both Xbox consoles next year at Christmahaunakwazna

An unusualy clear message after a giant shit show of horrible PR and fear to commit to a statement and acknowledge that Microsoft bought themselves a timed exclusive which will surely spur many many sales for all the people who have to play  a game the moment it is released or those who want the yet-to-be-named Pre-order bonuses (I’m hoping for a really comfortable sweatshirt for Lara).

Consumers took the news like a blow to heart. Cries of betrayal from Squeenix, of Microsoft acting desperately and hurting the industry by continuing the Great War of  Timed Exclusive Content filled the blogs and clogged the YouTubes.

Ishnaxover at Destructoid now chooses to never buy the game in response to this news.  Otaking Mikohani felt betrayed be Squuenix directly because the were seemingly abandoning its Playstation home altogether (even though the original game debuted on the Sega Saturn and wasn’t a SONY game). And Eric Hickman tells Joystiq readers that even people with an Xbox should be upset, like he is, that Microsoft mismanaged their by paying for this timed exclusive.

I think people are missing the bigger point here. If Microsoft drove a truck filled with money over to Squeenix headquarters that means Squeenix now has a TRUCK FULL OF MONEY! Think of all the things  they could do with a truck full of money. Or actually don’t bother, I thought of some for you;

Things Squeenix Should Do With Their Truckload of $$$

  • Well the first item on this list is going to be a bit less speculation than the rest as  Squeenix posted a recruitment page seeking developers for a new initiative they are beginning. The Focus the new staff will be to create new console game(s), as Siliconera reported. So I’m gonna go ahead and thank that tugboat full of money for this new development
  • Porting all their PSP games to the PSV/PSN. I bought my PSV 2 years ago confident in the fact that Squeenix would transfer their UMD-only PSP games to the PSN network to make easy bank on people repurchasing the games and people with PSV’s wanting to play something that wasn’t a terrible port of a console game.  Since then Kingdom Hearts: Birth By Sleep has been ported to the PS3 and Final Fantasy XIII Agito   Type-0 was FINALLY given a translation and localization…but for Xbox1 and PS4 consoles. As a non-next-gen owner that news pissed me off greatly but that’s a post for another day. Now Squeenix has the money to digitalize that…terrible Parasite Eve Third Birthday game and whatever else they made for the PSP.
  • On that note they can re-acquire the rights to use the title Parasite Eve. Parasite Eve, the game, was based on Parasite Eve, the novel by Hideki Sena. SquareSift paid for the rights to use the mitrochondrial plot points and title but that was only for a limited time. They lost the rights to use both and so the next game involving officer Aya Brea was called “Third Birthday,” had nothing to do with Mitochondria or Mitochondria Eve and instead was about time-traveling mutant aliens that Aya killed by having her clothes disintegrate and showing off her almost nude body. Use that money to make a proper Parasite Eve 3 now that Survival Horror is making a come back and will be less of a risk.


  • Make my Threads of Fate Sequel! This was an amazing diamond in the rough from the PSX. An action game with two protagonists, Rue who changed into monsters and Mint who learned elemental magic. The ending left the game wide open for revisiting as Rue finds a boy who looks just like him trapped in a temple right after the credits roll.
  • A sequel/spinoff to Vagrant Story. Another callback to the time when Square took chances and made games that might appeal to a select few instead of large games with general controls and a mixup of genres. This game on the PSX had a plot as intricate as its battle scheme but only half as deep as it’s weapon and armor crafting component.
  • …Maybe give me a refund for buying Dragon Quest IX? (Talk about a bare-bones RPG)
  • A standalone Blitzball game.  I think we can all agree that besides Wakka, the best thing about FFX was the hours and hours we all spent playing Blitzball. Trying to recruit those crazy cheating Guado, Jecht Shotting all in fool’s faces just as the clock ticks down, running out the clock when you score a few points on the Al Bhed, tackling some guy and giving him severe poisoning. You know, classic sports strategies. Set a game in the time before Sin, where there were a dozen teams and I’ll spend all my time in it.


  • Ensure that they hire someone to  write the last half of Bravely Default: Bravely Second. I love the original game but literally doing the same 4 things for about 20 hours is not how you conclude a game.
  • Lastly with that 747 filled with gold and jewels Squeenix could finish up dev work on Final Fantasy XV some time before 2020. Just buy an entire company full of coders and artists and dump them into the building where FFXV is being made.

These are but a handful of  things Squeenix could get done and get done sooner with this moon-full of money that they are getting from Microsoft. Keep them in mind if some negative feelings start to bubble up over the situation

And of course you could just remember it’s a timed exclusive and the Tomb Raider will rise on other platforms some time after it launches on the Xboxes.